Sunday, December 12, 2010
In this busy season of life there is so many things we over look, right down to the very breath that we breath. There is so much left to do, so many gifts to get and stocking to stuff. However
today, as I sit here with my hair wet, still in my bathrobe, with only one hour until I am supposed to be to a Christmas party, I am taking the time to pause to remember Bonnie Opper. Bonnie went home to be with the Lord yesterday morning. There are so many things that "need" to be done but for a moment life pauses. I will pause to thank God for what I do have. For my family, my friends, and my Lord, that is what Christmas is all about right?
I can still remember Mrs. Opper trying to get thirty-some kids ready for a play at Teenworks. She would always bring us snacks, water bottles, and anything else we needed. She was always the first one there and one of the last ones to leave. She would get down and do the grime work, setting up before, and then cleaning up after. She was truly self-less. I remember all the times she would help Cassandra and I get ready for The Hiding Place, she was always encouraging to us and never missed a performance, or practice for that fact. You could count on her for anything.
After the first round of cancer I remember seeing her at a basketball game, she had her mask on and looked so tired but she was still there cheering Caleb on. I remember running over to give her a hug and she told me that she was so sick no one could touch her. I can tell you one thing, if I was that sick I would NOT be out, but she was wonder-woman, she was ALWAYS there. Nothing stopped her.
Her legacy will live on for years to come. It truly makes you stop and think about what you are leaving behind for those who follow you. Her legacy is one that we all should strive for, Mother, Wife, Friend, Helper, Encourager, Teacher, A self-less woman, Dependable, Comforting, and above all and Daughter of the King, A woman who loved her creator so much she couldn't help but keep it inside. It flowed out of her every day.
So today, when I got to this party, my hair will probably still be wet, my make up, only half done, and my spirit heavy, but I can tell you this, the worries about what gifts I still need or what to make for Christmas dinner has all melted away, and the real meaning of Christmas has hit me so much harder.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Why is it that every time I try to start this post I can't get the words to come out?
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight."
Why is it that we get butterflies from 3 ordinary words?
Why is it the thought of one person can make our heart leap for joy?
Why is it that even when we are dog tired, we will wait up for that one phone call?
Why is it that same person can turn around and break our heart in a million pieces?
And why is it that we will turn right around and set ourselves up for that same thing to happen, yet again?
As humans we are made to crave companionship. Think about it. That is our deepest desire, to be close in companionship with God, and with each other. It makes sense that, to us, nothing is as bad as being alone. Even if we are in a relationship that is abusive, un-equally yolked, or is simply something that is not in God's will for our life, all we want it that love, attention, and companionship. But if we could just learn to rely on GOD for ALL of our needs we know that we will be satisfied. it says in Proverbs 3:5&6,
"Trust in the LORD with all your heartand lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight."
But we find this simple things so complex. Why? Because we are only human, we have no trust in us, and we are materialistic. We want to be able to see, with our own eyes, what it is we put our trust in. In all actuality we are, modern-day, doubting Thomas'. We want to see it with our own eyes. We smiply have no faith.
So I am taking the challenge to trust God in this area of my life. Trusting him that I am not going to be alone emotionally, even if HIS will for me is to be along physically. I am trusting in Him to meet my needs so that I can, in return, help him to meet other's needs.
I am choosing to have faith in faithless world.
Friday, December 3, 2010
So lately I have been reminded how precious life is, we are but a vapor, here today and gone tomorrow. It makes me stop and think, think about what is it we will be remembered by. What will people say about us once we are gone? What legacy will we leave? And more importantly, what have I done to further the kingdom, or should I be trying ten times harder??
There is a girl I know who, just yesterday, decided to go through with an abortion she had scheduled for today. She found out she was pregnant and then decided to keep the baby after making the appointment, however she never canceled her appointment. Then, for whatever reason, she decided that she couldn't do this and was going to abort, I mean she already had the appointment, why not? Right?
Now, I am not sure if she really did or not because when I tried to call and tell her that I had heard of a family who would be interested in the baby if she would not abort and that I would help her with medical bills and what not she told me that she wanted nothing to do with me and was going to take me to court for harassment, thus I have not tried to contact her. I asked my sisters in Christ to join me in prayer last night and, if nothing else, that girl has been covered in prayer like none-other. So thank you so much to everyone who prayed.
But it makes me wonder, why is it that when we try to do the right thing it always blows up in our face? I believe it is because Satan wants to discourage us. You see, she made me feel guilty for telling people about her "situation" as she so vividly put it. She said she didn't want anything to do with our "prayer chains" or our "god" ....Well, I am going to continue to keep people posted on what little I know and pray ten times harder, because I have seen the power of prayer and from seeing a few text messages she sent my friend, I am not sure she went through with it today. I will continue to pray for her and doing what is right, and when the Devil slaps me in the face, with God's help, we will PUNCH him back...ten times harder.
You see, sometimes we make appointments with our own "Abortion Clinic" whether it be that friend we keep ties with just for the occasional night out on the town, the bottle of vodka we stash away "just incase", the extra credit card we just keep in our wallets for "mall emergencies", or even the tub of ice cream in the freezer outside saved for our next depression run. When what we really need to do is cancel our appointment all together, cancel our appointment with the world so that when things start to get tough we can't simply show up to a perviously made appointment, but instead, we have to really think about it before we even make an appointment. So I am going to try to cancel my appointment with the world, and instead make one with Jesus, because only he is the REAL solver of all our problems.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Sometimes I wonder what it is that God is doing with my life? I mean we hear all the time to embrace the life we have, to be diligent in the things God gives us now and not worry about the future. But as I sit here on the first of the month with my bills all due today and my bank account hardly balancing out to what I owe, and the holidays just around the corner, it is hard to "just trust" that God will provide. The bottom line is this, my job's pay the bills and that is all. I don't' have wiggle room, I can hardly take a day off to schedule my state boards for Cosmetology school, and with the clock ticking away I feel the pressure growing.
As I try to take some time to reflect, I am reminded of the sweet words of my Pastor's Wife, who consoled me through High school, she always told me to go back to what I KNOW to be true about God. Is he Faithful? Yes! Is he true? Yes. Will he always provide for me? Yes. Will I ever be without? No. Does he love me? Yes. Am I secure in my status of being his princess? Yes. Do I need to know anything else? No.
After reflecting on this, my heart is a bit at ease. However there is always that burden of being an adult. I know that God will provide though. Also, I am trying to setting more realistic goals. I have decided that by this time next year I want to be living on my own and working full time in a salon. Besides working towards my goals I am now going to leave it all up to God.
Thanks for listening